Not Expecting

Someone is 20 months today

and it is the first time I've had a 20 month old

without anticipating the arrival of another baby.

It feels weird.

And a little bit sad.

Little Gymnast and a Big Oops.

Owen has had the privilege of taking a very intense four week "gymnastics" class with some of the top toddler gymnasts in the triangle. :)

This is his signature I love to stick my tongue out all the time look:

Here he is with his buddy, Leah Kate. They have clearly mastered the sit in a tube and hold a frisbee routine.

So cute.

Not sure he learned any new moves, but he had fun.

We left our last day of "gymnastics" and went to meet some friends for coffee. Good friends. One of these friends I had not seen since June because she's been traveling a lot this summer. When she stood up, I thought "Wow. She looks pregnant." But I didn't say anything because a.) this is a good friend and I figured if she was pregnant, she would have told me, and b.) I've learned the hard way not to ask somebody if they're pregnant unless I see water gushing and a baby head crowning.

So about an hour into the coffee date she was discussing her trip to Disney World and said, "it was great except I only got to ride one ride because of the pregnancy." I became completely ecstatic and said, "You are pregnant! I thought you looked it but I didn't want to say anything."

Everybody staring at me incredulously.....

Yup - she then reminded me with explicit details of the text messaging conversation we had about a month or two or three ago. You know, the conversation where she told me she was pregnant and I told her congratulations and asked her when she was due. (in four months in case you're wondering how far along she is and how many months I've been a delinquent friend....)

I still don't remember the conversation. How sad is that.

And I'm still trying to remove my large foot from my even larger and obviously self absorbed mouth.

Sorry Christina.

Happy New Year!

Today is an odd day in our family.
It is a day where we join our nation in mourning the tragic losses of 9/11.

Yet, it is also a day of celebration. It is the Ethiopian New Year. And though it feels weird to go out and celebrate on this day, it is one of our favorite holidays to celebrate.

So celebrate we did.

Every year we meet at the local Ethiopian Restaurant with other families and we eat until we can't possibly eat another bite and visit with friends. And the kids roam and play and have a grand time. And the waitresses hug and love on the kids and talk about how big they're getting.

And we leave full and happy and blessed to be surrounded by fun friends and an awesome culture.

And we leave knowing how blessed we are to have such an amazing part of that culture living under our roof and in our hearts.

Happy Enkutatash!

New Family Pet? I think not....

This picture made me laugh and will most definitely be my new excuse as to why I won't let the kids get a goldfish. Did you know both sets of their cousins have one? Oh, you hadn't heard that travesty yet? Yes, 5 out of their 6 cousins own fish and we have none. Are you devastated?

Talk about a big fish in a little pond.
Seriously, I think this may have been the same fish that swallowed Jonah.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/ynews_sp3575

And lest you think me too cruel for not getting them a freaking goldfish: a.) we already have plenty of mouths to feed here and b.) our list of desired pets grows and changes daily, so I hate to commit to one only to find a disappointed child because, while they did originally want a goldfish, now they decided a koala bear would have been better. I mean nobody wins in that scenario - the poor goldfish would be neglected and I would have wasted like 27 cents. The daily pet requests vary between fish, birds, squirrels, cats, turtles, bunnies, bats, slugs, and the latest obsession is sugar gliders. You know, the Australian Marsupials? Yes, every household needs one of those. And when I finally put my foot down and said there was no way we were paying hundreds of dollars for a sugar glider that would probably glide right out of our house and get lost, she they said, "that's okay - Santa will bring us one." I then had to gently explain that I was pretty sure the elves don't know how to make sugar gliders, and even if they did, the sugar gliders may get smothered in the bag of toys; therefore, Santa would probably not be bringing us any sugar gliders this Christmas. Then I got to explain what "smothered" meant.

For right now, certain family members are just going to have to make peace with the 9 year old, slightly geriatric chocolate lab that still pulls her weight in cleaning my kitchen floors.

Future Blackmail

Reality

"Who knew we could want to provide something so desperately for our children, to heal and protect them, but find ourselves profoundly unable? The stakes have gone up in our lives, the way they do, it seems, every time you decide to love something.”

[S. Niequist]

I'm raw tonight.

We took a step backwards this week.

I don't want to go backwards anymore.

I don't want to see the scales going down.

I don't want to hear him scream in pain anymore.

I trust God.

I love God.

But I'm done.

Except I'm not done.

Because how can I be done when he's not better yet?

So I'm praying for strength.

We have some big appointments this week.

So I'm praying for answers.

I'm praying for wisdom.

I'm praying for the healing only He can give.

I'm praying that He makes me the best advocate my littlest could ever need.

I'm apologizing for my negativity the past few days.

I'm giving thanks for the friends who have lifted me up.

Life is hard. He never promised it would be easy.

And I'll be back soon with my usual frivolous (and slightly sarcastic) updates.

Tonight though? Tonight, I'm using you.

I'm venting.

And it's scary to put these feelings out there.

But I'm sad.

And it sucks.

And I thought maybe if I put this out there....

Maybe you can pray for my littlest with me.

51 months of pure cuteness

Okay, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record here. You're thinking "we get it Rachel....your kids are growing up too fast....tell us something we don't already know....blah blah blah." But seriously - how is he already this big?

Here he was on his first day of preschool two years ago.

Here he was this morning on his last first day of preschool.

I think I've now figured out why moms do that annoying thing of telling you their kids ages in months - I think it is because they hope to slow down time a little bit. You know, 144 months just sounds better (and younger) than saying you have a 12 year old.

So enjoy these pics of my super cute, not so little habesha at 51 months of age. :)

(and yes, I know he is too old to carry around the little horsie backpack....he has informed me of this multiple times. Let's just say we're working on it.)

He had a great first day: enjoyed his teacher, got hit by one of his classmates, and apparently played with his silly bands too much and had them confiscated.