Pro-Mama

I'm thinking about going professional. Seriously - this is my 3rd baby - I know it all now. Everything there is to know about parenting, I've got it. I should win awards.

How to tell when they're hungry? Mastered it.
How to get them sleeping through the night? Done.
Best calming techniques? You guessed it - I know 'em.
Best solution to teething? Been there, done that.
Diaper rash? Gone
Skin rash? Working on it, but it's going away.
Best way to avoid a tantrum? Got it. (though it varies for each child).
Best snacks? Already in the pantry.
How to potty train? Took a lot of error with first child, but 2 of the 3 are now fully trained, so not too bad.

I mean I really don't like to brag on myself, but seriously, I should be the next baby whisperer or something.

For example: Do you remember this post?

Bald and drooling....

Well, I was right. I knew what to look for, I saw the signs, and I diagnosed the problem. So congratulations Owen on your first tooth! FIVE months later...

Not many women can sense teething that far in advance...I have a gift. I'm going pro.

(Pictures of said tooth popping through the gums to be displayed at a later date. I don't want to wake him up to take his picture because that would contradict the whole sleeping through the night deal. )

PS - In case you don't know that I'm a highly sarcastic person, (in which case, we've obviously never met) clearly, I was being facetious. I'm on my 3rd kid and still don't know what the heck I'm doing.