Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Are We There Yet?


Remember road trips back in the day? The trips our parents took us on? The trips where they packed the back of the station wagon with crayons and books and maybe a walk-man if you were lucky. Picture this: there were no DVD players in cars. Hell, there weren't even CD players in cars. There were no cell phones or ipads or kindles or tablets - just a family of five barreling down the road playing Punch Buggy or the ABC sign game or beating the crap out of each other in the back seat because one child crossed "the invisible line" that led into another child's cramped space. And if your family was anything like mine, about every 3.8 seconds, one of the kids would ask the question that I'm sure made my parents' toes curl and had them wishing their diet cokes were spiked with rum. 
(Maybe they were? I'm certainly not judging.)


We asked it even though the answer was obvious. No, we weren't there yet. We weren't even close. We hadn't even made it out of our Houston neighborhood yet. What were we? Idiots? 
(Yes. Yes, we were idiots.)

And apparently I am still an idiot today. Because that is my question over and over and over and over and over again.

Are we there yet?

Can this madness end yet?

Can Owen just be a healthy "normal" kid yet?

Can my other two just have a taste of a stress-free day yet?

Can Todd and I stop taking this unbelievably high level of stress out on each other yet?

For the Love of all things Holy, ARE WE THERE YET?!

I ask and I ask and I ask.

And God quietly responds, No.

So I ask one more time, you know, just to be sure.

And His answer is still a quiet, but a firm No.

We are not there yet. In fact, it feels like we just did a U-turn. There is no approximate time of when we will arrive at our destination. The apple map icon says reroute and keep driving.

Monday's appointment was full of disappointment and poop. Literally. Not only did he not gain weight, but Owen lost almost a pound from when we were discharged from St. Josephs. SERIOUSLY?! His abdomen was "impacted with poop" on x-rays which led to a lovely colon cleanse. SERIOUSLY?! We cannot increase his volume of food yet for various reasons, and so we are back to the drawing board? SERIOUSLY?!  Where do we sneak in these extra calories? We sneak them in through milk and formula. Again! 

We try another medication. Again! 

We cross our fingers. Again! 

We hope that maybe this will be the magic formula we need to increase the weight on that scale.....Again!

So NO, we are most definitely NOT there yet.

We're not even close.

We're still circling the Houston neighborhood. 

And even though frustrations abound because we know He has the power to heal all things; we also know that He is faithful and His will is far superior to mine. His plans always exceed my expectations. In seasons like this, seasons where we get on the freeway and continue to drive in circles that feel as if they lead nowhere, I have to have faith that He is blessing me on this road trip. Because He is.

And I can choose to see the blessings of smiles, stolen hugs, puppy shenanigans, late night laughter with the hubs, impromptu dates with my daughter, or I can choose to see the frustrations, the scariness, the endlessness of a chaotic schedule.


Oh man I wish I could say I see the blessings today, but that's not real life.

Today I see the latter. I'm a ball of pent up anxiety. I'm done. I'm over it. I'm one bite of oatmeal away from screaming into a pillow. I'm just done. So so so done today.

Which is why I'm here: Writing. Digging my heels in and trying to find the good.

And a friend posted this quote the other day.

"I want you to be all mine - overflowing with My Love, Joy, and Peace. Because these divine gifts leak out of you, you need Me continually for renewal. Your neediness is not a mistake or defect: It keeps you looking to Me, depending on Me, communicating with Me."
-Jesus Lives by Sarah Young.
page 198

How true it is. If my life was the "normal" I crave, would I still CRAVE Him?

I don't know the answer to that.

I really, really wouldn't mind testing the theory, but all I can do is trust.....

And hang on for the ride.

And maybe spike my diet coke with rum.
No judgement please. ;) 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

OBXing it!

Continuing on with Summer Fun....

As per tradition, we spent the fourth of July celebrating with Todd's family and the kids got to spend time with their grandparents both before and after our planned trip. They of course, had a blast! 

Again, I'll let the pics speak for themselves.

Will and Isaac. Best Cousins. Best Buds.

These next two shots are me trying to get Little Lachlen to take a selfie with Aunt Rachel. Lachlen hates me. He always has. He would never let me hold him as a baby and no amount of bribery has improved our relationship. The escape artist will have none of my shenanigans.

You and Me, Lachlen. One day about sixteen years from now, I'm going to buy you a beer or two and we're going to talk it out and bury our troubled past and become the best of friends. Just you wait.

The kids stayed on with their grandparents and I got three whole days of blessed silence and peace. It was much needed. 

They had a blast on their many adventures in the water and out.

And apparently some people find them tiring.
Who Knew?

I asked for pics with Grandma in them, but she being the typical mom figure was obviously the one manning the camera. Why is this always the case? So then I started facebook stalking her and it was clear she is still the one manning the camera when it comes to the grandkids. But I did find this pic that I love of these two people who love and support us and are always up for an adventure. See? She does exist?

Thanks Grandma and Chips for hosting our kiddos and showing them a good time OBX style!! 

We love you!

Friday, July 10, 2015

All Things Texas Style

I'm a little bit behind on updating the blog, but the kids and I headed to Texas the last week in June for a week to visit my sister and her family. We had a great time and the six cousins had a blast together. 

I'll basically allow the pics to speak for themselves.

There was baseball, dairy farms, wrestling, walks, and of course, frogs in toilets.

 Isaac got to meet the number one MLB draft player, Dansby Swanson, on the airplane. Super nice guy. He gave us his autograph and a picture. Isaac was in Heaven.

One day we went out to a dairy farm, fed the cows, and bought unpasteurized milk.
In case you're ever in a similar situation, the following advice may be helpful. You're welcome.

Tips for Removing Frogs From Public Toilets at Dairy Farms in Texas:

1. Pick frog up gently from the stomach.
2. Apologize that you have to remove him, but let him know it could be worse. You could have flushed him.
3. Put him on the floor where you can see him at all times to avoid a surprise frog attack.
4. Finish your business and wash your hands with hot water and soap. Lots of soap.
5. Freak out when you realize there is no soap and you just had your hands in a public toilet.
6. Take a full arm bath using your sister's baby wipes and hand sanitizer.
7. Next time, flush the frog.

Uncle Stephen played baseball with all the boys each night.
He had more patience than I would have had so my sister and I decided to help by sitting on the sidelines drinking beer. I think the boys learned a lot from our lack of participation.

Batter Up!
AKA Ellie Kate.

My lovely sister and her new running partner. If she can ever get him to leave the house.

Is there anything cuter than a snaggle tooth six year old?
Methinks not.

This is my sister reincarnated in both looks and spitfire sassiness:
Love me some Lainey Anne.

The current owners of the house my mother grew up in let us come by and take a tour. It was amazing to show the kids the house their great-grandaddy built and one that I have so many fond memories of visiting. They loved it.

We also wanted to visit my grandparent's graves.

That did not go so well.
In case you're ever in a similar situation? Some more advice. Again, you're welcome.

TIPS for visiting Graves in Texas:
1. (And this is probably the most important tip)
Make sure you are at the correct cemetery.
2. Don't go in the middle of the day when it is super hot outside.
3. Leave Owen at home unless you enjoy listening to screaming and watching him fall listlessly to the ground because he just can't walk anymore! ("Anymore" being the two foot radius that he walked around the car while refusing to help us look for the graves.)

We also filled our days with museums, swimming, gym classes, where I refuse to believe my sister was not trying to kill me, good food, church, and lots of play time. I abhor living so far from family, so it was such a blessing to have that time together.

Thank you, Aunt Sarah Ellen and Uncle Stephen for housing us and putting up with our shenanigans.

And especially thank you for introducing me to Lime-a-rita beer.
Life. Changer. ;)

Come see us soon!