If you don't like to read about bodily elimination, then you shouldn't open up a blog post that has this title. Seriously. But if you're like my family who enjoys a good laugh over potty talk, read on......
And since I know you're all dying to know how potty training is going; here is your epic update:
When it comes to urine it's actually going quite well. Most of the time.
The other stuff?
Not so much.
He doesn't get it. At all. And he's on meds that keep him regular and loose to prevent cholitis flare-ups. So you can imagine how fun this is.
After several accidents yesterday, I told him he had to go get some clean clothes on to wear to the $1.50 showing of The Lorax followed by dinner at Chic-Fil-A with friends. This was his outfit that he chose:
Ummmmmm. No, Owen. You can't wear that.
Really, Mom? But look how cute it is?
Okay. So that's a firm no, then. You suck, Mom.
After agreeing on a different outfit that involved shorts and looked a little bit less like an athletic hooker, we headed out for our adventure.
And he did great all afternoon.
Until I went to check on him in the play area at CFA and Isaac said, "Mom, Owen needs a diaper change." And I said, "What do you mean?! He's not wearing a diaper." And Isaac said, "Oh. Then Mom, Owen got poop everywhere."
And that's when I saw it. A beautifully laid turd trail going up the steps and down the slide. (Which by the way, I do feel I should mention is the first time Owen has gone down any enclosed twisty slide. Yay, OT!) Granted, the OCD in him was probably just trying to make sure he evenly dispersed his excrement for all the kids to enjoy, but still.......
I won't go into all the clean-up details. But I will say, had anyone filmed our next fifteen minutes in the bathroom, we surely would have won America's Funniest Home Videos. Hands down. Or maybe America's Grossest Home Videos.
And in case you're wondering, when I went back in the play area to thank the employees that had to finish cleaning it up, only one of them said "my pleasure." The other one said, "No problem. Happens all the time." I'm thinking about having him fired. I mean everyone knows CFA employees are trained to say "my pleasure" no matter what is requested of them, and I think that should include cleaning up somebody else's crap. Geez.
So if you enjoyed this gross update - my pleasure.
If not, then at the very least, I hope I made you feel better about your own life.