Worth the Wait

The post below was borrowed from another blogger who also borrowed it. The words are beautiful. As an adoptive parent, one of the hardest things was waiting. Waiting and wondering. When you're pregnant, you know (pretty much) the outcome will come along in (hopefully) nine months. You know when you will get to meet and hold your child, God willing. With adoption, there is a lot more uncertainty. You don't know when, who, or what your child is experiencing as you wait. Patience is hard. You pour hours upon hours of work and dedication into the process, and then sit back and wait. Friends and family have babies while you're still waiting. Our process took 15 months start to finish, and that is a short amount of time compared to most, but didn't feel short at the time. It's hard to remember while waiting, that across the world, there is another family waiting as well. Waiting and longing to make it work.

"Our wait is beautiful. We are waiting to say hello to our future. We are waiting with hope. Waiting with dreams of what will come and visions of family.

The families of our children are waiting to say goodbye. Waiting to kiss their cheek for a final time. To smell their sweet skin and whisper in their ears. They are waiting for loss. Loss that most of us will never have to bear.

And our children will wait too. They will wait for all that is known to return to them and yet it never will. They will wait to hear the whispers of those who love them again. Whispers that will not come.

If children are not lingering in care. If the agencies we use are acting with haste and due care, then we should be at peace. A decision has not had to be made to say goodbye. There will be one more day. One more kiss. One more moment.

I wish I could go back in time and sit next to the important people in my daughters’ lives and whisper in their ears. Just one more day. Give them one more day. Take your time. I will wait here as long as you ask me to."

The Art of Cutting

Now that I've gotten used to it, the hair cut doesn't seem so bad.
Yes, it's a LOT shorter than I wanted,
but she's still pretty dang cute. (Not that I'm biased or anything...)
The back still needs a little bit of work, but for right now, we're leaving it as is.

Now, onto more important topics: Household safety.
When your 3 year old asks for (children's) scissors during quiet time, the answer is obviously a resounding NO, right? I mean, what kind of mother lets him take scissors into his room, after making him swear that he will ONLY cut the paper from the art closet and nothing else?

In his mother's defense, his pre-school teacher did ask him to practice cutting more often at home. Mission accomplished! He practiced cutting and throwing scrap paper. It's like killing two birds with one stone.

Now they both get to practice cleaning. What an educational day we have had.

Five Little Froggies

Five frog cupcakes for the five year old.
She chose to go see The Princess and the Frog instead of have a birthday party.
Very cute movie.

See those cute pigtails in her hair? They're gone.
I butchered it.
She's been wanting a hair cut for awhile.
Todd and I like the pigtails and braids, but I finally gave in.

When I say they're gone, I mean they're gone.
What was supposed to be a cute little blunt cut turned into a very short cut with stacking to try and hide some mistakes and layers. When will I learn? While I am willing to take a small portion of the blame, the rest I lay on her. I mean how hard is it, at 5 years old, to sit still for (what should have taken 15 minutes) while your inexperienced hairdresser of a mother tries to cut your hair with two little boys running around at the same time? Seriously.

I would take a picture of the cut, but I'm afraid if I ask her to sit still again, she may shoot me.

The card that never was....

I love Christmas. I love everything about Christmas.
One of my favorite things by far is getting the old fashioned, snail mail, Christmas cards. I love seeing people's children as they grow throughout the years and hearing about their lives. I personally don't ever write a Christmas letter, but I enjoy reading them.

Wouldn't it be brilliant though, if one year, people sent out a real card. What if, instead of telling of all their family successes, they told about their kids pooping in neighbor's yards, dumping sand on kids' heads, trying to drown one another in the pool or sound, and attacking bullies with toilet plungers. (All these incidents happened in either my or my husband's family growing up, but I won't reveal names in order to protect the privacy of us and our siblings). What if, instead of sending the one decent shot out of the 200 taken, we sent a picture of our "real" kids, in all their glory, during the photo shoot.

For example:
Here is our infamous "smoking a doobie" shot from 2006,

the "We refuse to sit/stand/pose or even look at the camera" of 2007

The "I can't believe their mother lets them near that vicious beast" shot of 2008

and finally, the "what the hell? I wanted a real candy cane!" shot of 2009

Did I send out any of these pictures. No. Should I? Maybe - they're quite funny to look at.

Did I send out a real Christmas letter this year? No.
Should I? Maybe. Tell me what you think of the following draft:

Dear family and friends,

2009 has been an exciting year for the Fischer family. We were blessed with another baby boy in January. Things went really well for the first two weeks until Rachel's milk dried up. Then, she plummeted into a severe bout of PPD. She could hardly function and wanted to run her car into a tree. She's much better now and tries to use her experience to help other women suffering from PPD.

At the same time of her depression, Owen started having some medical problems that caused him to vomit profusely before, after, and during every feeding. Our house now has "Owen stains" everywhere. His medical problems caused a lot of emotional and financial strain on the family, but we're coming out of it.

Emma Grace got the swine flu and lived to tell about it, even though she had to be escorted out the back door of the doctor's office. She also had some major issues with pooping and had to receive her first ever enema. It did not go well. She's doing much better with that.

Isaac is in this great phase of whining and crying uncontrollably when he's tired. It's not much fun to watch and/or listen to. We're working on it though. He also has a huge bump and scar on his head from falling out of the bed.

Todd enjoys his job, but between that and the kids, he is often exhausted and doesn't have time to get things done around the yard and house that he would like to do. Such is life.

Hope this letter finds you all doing as well as us.
Happy Holidays,
The Fischer Family

Disclaimer: Okay, I would never send out that card since it is highly negative and even though all those things are true, it is not how I choose to look at our lives in 2009. In actuality, those were just the trying parts of an altogether great year.

So, be looking for our "fake" Christmas card in the mail. You know, the card with the one decent photo I got amidst the 70 photos of the kids fighting over who got to sit in the green chair.

How did I finally get a decent shot?
Bribery. They'll do anything for fruit snacks.

Go Away

Dear nasty, crummy, disgustingly painful ear infection,

PLEASE go away with this third round of double antibiotics.
I want my Owen back.

Poor Little Lamb.

Happy 5th Birthday, Diva!

Okay, so the fifth of December is truly an exciting day in our family. 3 years ago on the 5th, we received our referral for Isaac. 5 years ago on the 5th, we headed to Duke for a scheduled induction. 27 hours and one c-section later, we met our Emma Grace on Dec. 6th.

Sweet, petite Emma Grace
6 lbs. 7 oz.
19 inches.
Hated eating.
Loved sleeping.
Tiny.

We had a bit of a rough start getting her to gain weight, but she's not failing to thrive now. She's a female/ first child through and through. You know the personality: stubborn, but fun, inquisitive, insightful, assertive, kind, loves all things pink, etc... She's definitely a rule follower. (This morning she told her teacher she couldn't have a cookie for snack because she would be having cupcakes later and that would be too much sugar...)

Here's my sweet little diva at her favorite restaurant where we had her birthday lunch. She's posing with Sydney Lea, her new Generation doll.

I can't believe she's five.

Happy Referraliversary

If you don't live in the adoption world; you may be wondering what that title means.
If you do live in the world of adoption, then you know that it means today is the 3 year anniversary of our referral. (The day we found out about Isaac.)

Dec. 5th, 2006.
Started out like any other day.
My s-i-l needed to have a dress altered, and seeing as she had a newborn at the time, I volunteered to meet her at the mall and keep Will company while she was otherwise occupied. We were hoping for a referral within the next few months so I asked her if we could borrow Kenlee's "I'm a big sister" tee-shirt to use when the call came. I had no idea it would be that day!

After putting EG down for her quiet time, the phone rang and it was our social worker, Lindsay.
After 5 months of waiting, she said the famous words: "Do you have time to talk?" That means, THIS IS IT! in adoption lingo. The call. The one you've been waiting for. The one where I'm going to tell you about the child that is waiting for you half a world away. The call that will change your life forever.

It is physically impossible to describe what went through my head at that moment. I think I started blabbering on about some inconsequential things, until she laughingly interrupted me and asked if I wanted to hear about our son.

A son.
Our first boy.
Tadesse Mathewos
6 months old
8 pounds.
At the care center.
Waiting for us.
Half a world away.
A picture that took our breath away.
A history that is heartbreaking but led him to us.
Our little Isaac
Our big blessing.

I hung up, threw the shirt on EG, grabbed the already wrapped blue baby blanket, (returned the pink one later) and headed to Todd's office, praying he wouldn't check his email before we got there. Found him in the hall. Kept pointing to EG's shirt. He didn't get it. Had him open the gift; it dawned on him. We opened the email together. I told him everything Lindsay said. We looked at his picture for the first time together. People asked me what that was like. I can honestly say for both of us, within about five minutes, he went from being a cute little boy, to our son. Learned it doesn't take blood to make you fall in love with your child.

It took us about 4 minutes to decide on a name.
"Isaac" means laughter. This baby needed laughter and happiness in his life. If you know him now, you know the name fits him well. He has the greatest smile and sense of humor.

We left and headed to my s-i-l's house, who laughed and asked why Emma Grace was wearing the tee shirt already? Ironic huh? We called all of our parents, siblings,and friends. We printed out his picture, stared at it and celebrated.

It was by far one of the BEST days of my life.
And one of the most heartbreaking days of my life.
Our joy, our gain, our blessing came at another's loss.
My thoughts will forever be with his birth family, his first family.
Every day that I get to raise this amazing child,
I will remember them and be grateful.

THEN: EG with her "baby butter from Opapeaia"

NOW:

Thank you, God.

O' Christmas Tree (sort of)

Todd won a major battle in our home last night. For 9 years we've battled it out over purchasing fake or real ones....(trees of course).

Last night, he purchased our first artificial tree. He didn't fall for the "let's get a real one and then we'll buy a fake one at the end of the season when they go on sale" line this year. In the past, he fell for it, and seeing as he never goes shopping after (or before) Christmas, I simply never purchased one and the argument ended until the following December.

Not this year.
He's getting much wiser.
My tricks don't work anymore.

So here we are. Decorating our first fake tree.
I will say this: not having needles all over the floor is nice.
I will also say this: I miss the smell.

O' Artificial Tree,
O' Artificial Tree,
How artificial are thy branches.
Thy needles will not cover my floor,
My baby will not choke on them,

But I miss the smell,
I miss the smell,
How artificial are thy branches.