Sister, Sister.

We're waiting for the locusts.

Literally.

After biopsies, losing a g-tube, a new diagnosis that is yuck, a night in the ER, and now possible infection, I'm just waiting for the next step of the plague.

And when you're waiting for locusts,

there's one person who can make you laugh like no other and you wish that person was sitting in the same room with you making inappropriate jokes and loving you unconditionally no matter what you say or do. And you say a lot of crap that you would never admit to anyone else. And she never judges. Or if she does, she does it in a quiet and loving way....... ;) She wakes up and texts you in the middle of the night and sends funny memes and just somehow always knows what you need to hear. 

Gah!

I miss you so much right now. sister! 

That is all.

Church. And Magic Mike.

Yesterday morning I sent the kids out to get buckled while I grabbed the last of our things and made the mad dash out the door for church. This is a weekly rat race of us attempting not to be late on Sunday mornings which I personally think is only amplified by the fact that we live one mile away from church. You see, when you only live a mile away, you constantly think you have time to do one more thing like unload the dishwasher real quick, throw some mulch down in the yard, write a novel, or figure out how long Bruce Jenner is going to let his hair get before he publicly announces that he would, in fact, like to be a woman.

Anywho - From inside the house - I hear Emma Grace screaming. I walk out to the garage to find her in the back seat covering her eyes and yelling at the top of her lungs.

Apparently the boys thought it would be a great time to practice their Magic Mike Routine in front of their sister. Both had their pants down and were showing her their booties (and probably other parts as well....) I didn't even know they had a Magic Mike Routine.

They were in prime position for discipline from Mom.

And then I said what we probably all say at some point on the way to church:

"Now ZIP up your pants and SIT DOWN! Dang it! You're making us late for church!"

And that's just how we roll around here some days.

Yes, we are obviously so proud.

Poop and Pain

Ever gotten on a roller coaster because you felt like you had no choice? Maybe your friends talked you into it and you thought, okay, I can do this. And then you start climbing that hill and you want off. Good lord you want off more than anything in this world, but it's too late. You're already strapped in. You're gripping the rail in front of you so hard that your fingers are turning blue and while your friends are throwing their arms in the air and screaming, you're holding on for dear life, praying the straps are accurately secured, and trying your best not to soil yourself?

That's how I feel this week.

I want off this damn roller coaster.

I've had enough.

My family has had enough.

My son has had enough.

Enough.

He had to spend his sixth birthday at the hospital. And I'm not even gonna try to sugarcoat that. It sucked. And when he figured out where we were going, he did what he does. He screamed a lot about it, and then when we got there, he asked to be carried in, and then when it was time, he pulled himself up, got poked and prodded, and did what needed to be done. That's who he is. He's anxious and scared.....but when the shit hits the fan? He's one tough kid.

And (please excuse my language right now but this is actually very tame compared to the words I'm saying in my head.....) the shit really hit the fan this week. It hit the fan and exploded all over us. I know; I paint a pretty picture. Right? ;)

He did gain weight which was awesomesauce. 

Seriously awesome and much needed.

But we also met with a team of specialists who feel there may be more going on. That means take his already crappy chronic illness and autism and add even more to it. Seriously?!  And the more that may be going on breaks my freaking heart. It has to do with possible swallowing problems and nerve endings and intestines and chronic pain. And I don't even know what to say. Literally.

We are not where anybody thought we would be almost two years into the feeding tube.

We are not where anybody wants us to be.

We are struggling.

We are running even more tests.

We are starting new drugs.

We are considering the option of more feeding therapy.

We are learning that, most likely, he has even more pain than he lets on. 

We are letting that information sink in and it is breaking our hearts.

Breaking.

And then I look at this picture of him that very night. Playing with his calculator that he got for his birthday. His calculator + that smile + the day we had = toughest kid I've ever met.

Y'all?

This kid is amazing.

And y'all?

His mama is tired.

And she needed to vent.

So thanks for reading about poop and pain.

You're welcome for the awesome imagery.

Happy Friday.

Please pray for us.

Birthday Boy

Six years ago you came hurtling into our lives with your white white blonde fuzz, your amazing blue eyes, and your amazing ability to scream at the top of your lungs when you sensed the presence of food on the horizon.

Today you still amaze us with your white blonde hair, your amazing blue eyes, and your amazing ability to scream when you sense the presence of food on the horizon. Some things never change.

But boy have you changed us.

You've changed me into a person who better understands the unfairness of this world.

You've changed me from a person who used to think different meant "less" to a person who knows the truth now.

Different means more; so much more:

More patience, more sorrow, more joy, more heartache, more empathy, more tears, more humility, more responsibility, more celebrating the small things, more laughter, more, more, more and then some more.

And even though every day I wish I could take away your intestinal pain, your emotional frustrations,  your social anxieties, and the feeding tube that we have a love/hate relationship with, I know that without those things, you would not be you and I definitely would not be the me that I've become because of the you that God created.

And you and me?
We've got our issues, but dang if we're not a pretty good team together.

So Happy Sixth Birthday My Sweet Boy!

I'm so sorry you have to spend it at the hospital this year, but maybe our birthday gift will be a massive weight gain! Wouldn't that be something?!

In true Owen Fashion,
I hope your sixth year is full of love, animals, and giggles.

And then it was 2015.

Long time, no blog post.

Christmas 2014 went by in a crazy blur of family, friends, laughter, gifts, more family and enjoying time together.

The kids enjoyed their two weeks off from school. Todd and I enjoyed our time with them the most of the time. The rest of the time was spent looking into boarding schools...... ;)

We ended our vacation with a stay at Great Wolf Lodge and they had a blast.

Now it's back to the real world of school, work, more school, and more work.

2015 is here.

And as always, we never know what a new year will bring.

Praying it brings you and yours many blessings, and we're especially praying for peace for two families that we personally know are hurting right now. Praying God brings miracles and healing hearts.

Happy 2015.

Hogwarts

I have been parenting for a decade.

A whole decade.

I have a kid in the double digits. 

What the what?

And she wanted a Harry Potter birthday.

So for a slack mom whose idea of a nutritious lunch is making sure the kids have packaged crackers AND a string cheese, I gotta say, I Hogwartsed the shiznit out of this party.

We had cousins, friends, potions, butterbeer, live animals, and even a mystery to solve.

And this ten year old daughter of mine?

Love her. 

Love her love for reading and all things Harry Potter.

Love her passion for learning and her sweet smile.

Love that she complicated my world and made it so much better all at once.

Happy Birthday, Emma Grace!!

FAFFV

I married into an Acronym Loving Family. They are the Kings and Queens of Acronyms. (Mainly the male side of the family. Us females just tend to say actual words.....) So what is the Title of this post? I have no freaking clue. But it's what my father in law called our family vacation. I think it's supposed to be something like Fischer Annual Family Fun Vacation. Or Five Apes Flying For Victory. Or Finally Another Fischer Family Vacation. Or Find Another Fifty Five Vodkas. I don't know......something like that.

Anywho - No matter what it is called, we went, we played, we laughed, we drank, we fished, we hiked, we shared, we shopped, we laughed some more, and basically, we had a much needed freaking good time!

And I mean it when I say I am so blessed to have married into this family. I know that in-law relationships can be tricky and things don't always go perfectly, but dang if these people don't know how to support us and have a good time! I laughed so hard that my stomach literally hurt for like two days. And this was in the midst of Owen tanking and us knowing we were most likely going to end up at the hospital upon return. We did.

But that's another story for another day. This story is about family and fun!

I love this picture of Emma Grace walking and talking with her Grandma.

(I imagine they were talking Harry Potter.........)

And these two. Oh dang. 

If only everybody could only be lucky enough to hang out with them.

 Seriously. Stomach hurts. It was a good ab workout. ;)

"I'm all about that bass. Bout that Bass. No Treble."

 

COUSINS!!!!

Uncle Kevin is so so good to this lil' guy. He played this game over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

 

Love......

 

Love these Fischer Men, who are apparently now models? Who knew? I'm pretty sure this picture will be in GQ next month. Tennis shoes, flannel shirts, and Redskins apparel are all the rage right now.........

So to sum up? 

We had an awesome time.

Thank you Grandma and Chips for opening your home and pushing to make this happen! It was so so so so so so so so so so so much fun. 

Can't wait for Thanksgiving and more abdominal exercises!