Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Kissing Spells TROUBLE.

Parenting Fail?
Parenting Win?
Or both?

I've learned that being a parent means you not only get to beat yourself up about your own screw-ups (of which I have many) but you also get to beat yourself up over your kids' screw-ups (of which they have many.) And today was one of those days that felt like one big fat parenting fail until I stepped back and looked at it from a different angle. A lesson was learned. One child screwed up but made it right, and one child gave awesome advice. So maybe we should be looking at it as a parenting win? Or maybe a parenting wail? (that's win and fail put together. Come on people, keep up.......) 

The kids came home from school all smiles and got started on homework right away. I didn't suspect anything was wrong until Isaac came and asked to speak to me privately? He then proceeded to tell me that he got in trouble on the bus today. And that he was called out by the principal. I was mortified because this was our first "in trouble with the principal" moment. There are many firsts in parenting, but this is not one you look forward to....unless you're sadistic...... He was very honest and told me what he had done and said that he should be punished. I won't go into full detail but let's just say the principal was justified in her frustration and Isaac was not justified in his behavior. And let's also say the incident involved, but was not limited to, the singing of the "k-i-s-s-i-n-g" song. That stinking song is still around?! (I should also say that while it is annoying that the song is still around, I'm glad it does teach spelling and I'm also glad "kissing" hasn't been changed to another word that would fit just as well. I mean, you just never know these days......) Anyway, I told him I appreciated his honesty and that I would need to talk to his dad before a punishment was decided upon. Then I told him I was disappointed in him which led to many tears and hugs and a talk about how everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs forgiveness. Apology letters were written and it wasn't until much later that I wondered why he came and told me? I hadn't heard (yet) from the principal so I may have never found out. 

So I asked him why he told me?

He told me he was worried and upset, so he opened up to his sister about the situation and she told him that she wasn't going to tell on him, but that she thought he should decide on a time to tell us. She told him that we wouldn't be as mad if we heard it from him first.

Damn straight, sister. Damn straight. 

And what's even more awesome? When I went to her to thank her for giving him such good advice, I asked her if she saw the incident? She told me she didn't see it and Isaac didn't want to tell her what he had done; he just wanted advice. She told me she didn't need to know.

Holy Cow.  
Is she 9?! Or 19?!

Because I'm 36 and I'm pretty sure I still would have wanted to know what happened. In fact, I probably would have withheld advice and given wedgies until my little sibling told me exactly what they had done.

So basically it was a hard parenting day. And hard parenting days now are different than they used to be. Hard parenting days five years ago were full of cleaning up poop and food and tantrums. Hard parenting days now are spent wondering if your child is going to end up in jail because he or she sings the "kissing" song to the wrong person at the wrong time?  I mean, what if they sing it to their boss and then later find out that the boss was actually kissing someone he wasn't supposed to be kissing and the boss thinks they found out and so the boss fires them? And then they have no money so they try to steal a loaf of bread from the store. And then they get caught. And then they spend twenty years in prison because the prison guard has NO empathy and when they finally escape and try to make things right by raising a dead prostitute's only child, they are constantly on the run and have no peace from the prison guard.....Okay wait, that's Les Mis, but you get what I'm saying, right?

Parenting is hard.
And awesome.
And scary.
All at the same time.

And Isaac?
He didn't get in trouble at home or school this time because he was honest. And I honestly don't think he'll make that mistake again.

And even though I think he would be a wonderful first ever African American Jean Valjean, I hope life never comes to that. Because this kid is awesome. And so is his sister. And I only want the best for all of these people!

(The best preferably starting with a win over UNC tonight.......)

Happy Parenting.
This stuff is hard.

May the Force be with You.


  1. Great advice, great kids, great parenting!! (Of course I might be prejudiced, but only slightly.)

  2. I love this! I may or may not have had tears in my eyes as I was picturing Isaac going to Emma Grace for advice. And her advice? Amazing. She didn't use the situation to her advantage. She just spoke the truth in love to her brother and left it at that. I want to be like her when I grow up. Awesome, I tell you. Just awesome.