Life With a Literal

I'm going to start a new "series" of posts titled Life With a Literal.

Because I'm living life with a Literal.

 

Black and White.

Every day.

And sometimes that means we laugh when we shouldn't, we have to explain things a lot, we hug a lot, we console a lot, and you know what? Sometimes we're the ones who need the hugs because our feelings can get hurt. A lot.

For example, this was a conversation a few days ago:

Owen: Why did you give me green cheetos today?

Me: Because obviously I knew you liked them and I'm the best mama in the world.

Owen: You're not the best mom in the world.

Me: I'm not?

Owen: No. There are a lot of moms that are better than you.

 

Me: What are their names?

 

Owen: Well, I don't know their names, but they are better than you.

Me: True story. Thanks son. (I'm going to go into the bathroom and cry now. You just sit here and enjoy your green cheetos that a better mom would have made from scratch.......)

Or how about this one? Owen screams every time it's time to leave his friend Leah Kate's house. My awesome friend Danelle works with him EVERY SINGLE WEEK on making this transition easier:

Danelle: Owen, what are you going to say when your mom gets here today?

Owen: I'm going to cry.

Danelle: No, remember, we're going to say "hi Mommy! I missed you!"

Owen: Why would I say that? I don't miss her.

Does he mean for his words to be hurtful?

Not in the least.

That's the world for him. Black and white. True or false. 

Good news in all this?

He's honest to a fault.

Me: Owen, what was that loud noise?

Owen: That was me hitting Emma Grace over the head with my play sword because she wouldn't let me play with her. She's crying now.

Alrighty then.

Life with a Literal.

Little Lamb.

Busy Badge of Honor

So I was in a meeting yesterday and we were discussing busyness.

Have you ever noticed people wear their busyness like a badge of honor?

It has become a competition.

Who does the most? Who has the least amount of time in the day to relax? And if you actually do relax, holy crapballs, you would never ever fess up to it.......

Want to see a woman go from loving to murderous in 0.03 seconds?

 Ask a stay-at-home-mom what she does all day?

Do it. I dare you.

You see, we constantly see all sorts of facebook posts that say "I was up at 4:30am, worked out, came home, fed my kids cage-free organic eggs and turkey bacon, folded 16 loads of laundry, mowed the neighbors yard, and took homemade muffins to the kids teachers and it's not even 9:00am yet." (Of course now they're on facebook which kind of proves that they are not always super busy.....but I digress.....)

Rarely do you see the post that said "I laid around all afternoon watching Breaking Bad while my kid was at pre-school."

 (That's exactly what I did yesterday) but of course I didn't post it because I fall prey to the Busy Contest as well.

I see your homemade teacher gifts and sixteen soccer tournaments in one weekend and I will raise you those things as well as church obligations, working, school, exercise, cooking, pretend playing with my kid while I'm on facebook, cleaning, shopping, and buying a partridge in a pear tree.

This is what we do.

We do Busy. And we do Busy well.

But somewhere along the way, I think we've confused Busy with Better.

In fact, to be honest, while I was not excited about having ear surgery, a part of me was straight up jacked when the doctor said, "you have to take it easy for several weeks."

Several weeks?

Of taking it easy?

YES PLEASE!!

An excuse to not be busy or at least pretend I'm busy at all times? 

Done.

Now don't get me wrong, there is value in activities. There are lessons to be learned on the soccer field. But there are also lessons to be learned at home, relaxing in your pj's on a Saturday morning, drinking coffee while the kids argue over the guinea pig maze they're creating upstairs.

Life is full of seasons and some of those seasons are just plain gonna be busy. No way around it. But some of those seasons could be better than busy. They could be full of intentional moments of rest. We could be busy just being. To be honest, I've quite enjoyed my doctor ordered rest which has brought me to the conclusion that I need to change some things. So I'm going to challenge myself this month and ask myself this question:

Is this activity going to busy us or better us?

And if the answer is just busy, I'm going to practice saying no.

And if you're not too busy, feel free to join me in this challenge. :)

PS - Owen just left for school. I better get back to Breaking Bad. That show is not going to watch itself!

PPS - I realize that some of you may think watching Breaking Bad is not actually bettering myself. But it is.....really.....I now know the ingredients that go into crystal meth so I can be on the lookout should anyone of my family or friends all of a sudden start asking me to stock up on sudafed....... I'm prepared and I'll know they need help.

Third Time's a Charm........ Hopefully

So we SUCK at guinea pigs.

Like really suck.

They've probably posted our pics at all local pet stores with warning signs.

Yes, we're on our third guinea pig in one month's time. We change guinea pigs more often than I change underwear.  Edith was great, but because I suck and wasn't being diligent about watching her when she was out of her cage, she got injured on accident. She is at the vet and they think she's going to be fine after some rest and isolation.....neither of which she would get in this house, so we now have Margo. And we told the kids, there were three sisters in Despicable Me and if Margo doesn't make it, we just weren't meant to be a guinea pig family.

So far so good but we're only four days in. Give it time.........

The kids saying goodbye to Edith before I took her to the vet:

EG cried. Isaac was indifferent. And Owen said, "don't forget to bring home Margo."

As Mom says, he's not going to have any problems down the road with the ladies.

Owen at 16: "Oh? You're dumping me? That's fine. Tell your sisters and friends I'm available."

The new love of his life:

We're winding down the school year with EOG's and parties and field days and all the excitement that comes with summer on the horizon.

Our sweet friend Molly took some awesome pics of the kids. Awesome!

I may be biased, but they're pretty stinkin' adorable and I'm ready to have some summer fun with them.

And this goddaughter of mine? She is growing like a weed. All chunk and adorableness wrapped up in one package.

Happy Almost Summer!

Life, Death, the Cyborg and Her Minions

I'm doing a smashing job keeping up with the blog right now. In my defense...........I really have no defense, so make up your own stories as to why I can't keep up with the blog and I assure you they'll be more interesting than my excuses.

Here's a quick recap of life in the Fischer House the past month:

1. I finished exams!!! Which also means I finished my first year back in school!!!! Which also means I don't have to study right now!!!!!!

You would think that would mean I am using the time to catch up on housework, but I'm not.....

And this is totally how I felt after exams were over:

2. I went to Texas to help my sister unpack her new house. Which means I got to see the Sister!!!! I love me some Sister Time!

3. For Mother's Day, Todd gave in on the guinea pig battle and we brought home sweet little Agnes.

She was darling and fluffy and everybody loved her, even Todd.

She died four days later. Our first fish lasted longer than her.

I wanted to look around for another one that looked similar to her. Todd said we weren't going home without a guinea pig for Owen.

Enter Edith.

Emma Grace and I don't think she's nearly as cute as Agnes, but she has a lot more personality and spunk. Probably because she's not dying.

Owen cared nothing about the switch. He doesn't care what guinea pig he has; he just wants a guinea pig. Emma Grace cried for a long time and asked if Agnes is in Guinea Pig Heaven? I lied and said of course she is. Of course. Isaac likes the guinea pig just fine if she's not interfering with something else he wants to do. lol.

And yes, Owen picked the first names and named them after the sisters in Despicable Me.

Full Name?

Edith Bandito Chocolate Chip Fischer.

Who doesn't need a guinea pig named Edith Bandito Chocolate Chip Fischer?!

4. I had surgery on my right ear and now have titanium inside my head. Todd keeps calling me his cyborg. My recovery is slow but getting better each day. I need a good TV show to watch. That's free on Amazon. Feel free to leave your suggestions!

Doesn't everyone recover from surgery with rodents?

No?

What's wrong with y'all?

5. The kids are doing awesomesauce.

This one is growing like a weed. Here she is reenacting a picture from her baby days with Kaia. Those legs? Seriously?

This one is turning 8 today! TODAY!! EIGHT!! 

He's almost as tall as his sister and still loves everything sports. His big dream right now is to go to Golden Corral because his cousin told him they have a chocolate fountain there. So, we're surprising him (and his friend Jack) with a family dinner to Golden Corral tonight. We live it up big in this house.

And this one? You guys. He is doing so well right now. He is growing and maturing and trying so hard. He fights so hard every day and we're so stinking proud of him. We had his IEP meeting a few weeks ago, and he's met some of his goals, and he has a lot more to meet next year, but overall, he's doing really really well. And that makes my heart happy.

This pic was taken during a rough night a few weeks ago when he ended up in the bed with me, but I mean how can you complain? Look at that sweet face!

So yeah.

That's my update. 

New pets, birthdays, and titanium.

What's up with you?

A boy and His......Possum?

Seriously?

Owen and his BFF, Lucy, have been playing outside all week in the nice weather. And his BFF Lucy thinks she's a cat. Or a fox. So far she has brought us two dead birds, a dead mouse, and her latest......a possum.

Imagine my shock when Owen walked in the house with what looked like a very wet, dead, bloody, rat in his hand that he took out of Lucy's mouth. He refused to let go of it, so we ran it back outside and my screams finally got through to him and he placed it on the table, where we soon figured out it was a possum playing.....well.....possum.

Then the possum stopped playing possum and I tried to keep it from falling off the table with a stick while Owen went to get me a bucket. He brought back multiple things including a frisbee, a shovel, and what I think he was hoping would be a leash......none of which would trap the possum. Bless his heart.

Fast forward ten minutes full of internal cussing in my head and voila?

We have a Possum in a bucket!

And I'm on the phone with Todd who is telling me I have to warm up towels and hold him close to my body and get him warm or he will die.

TODD?!

The same TODD who used to threaten to rip Lucy's face off......wants me to spend my afternoon saving the possum that nearly gave me a heart attack.

Well played, Todd.

He knows I have a weakness for animals. Any animals. All animals. I used to have a pet iguana for crying out loud.

So Owen and I did what he said. We warmed up Possum and left him nestled in towels in a box while we went about our afternoon.

And I went to shower later that day and couldn't find Owen when I got out.

I should have known.

They were good friends by this point.
(Face scratches are from an unrelated skateboarding incident.)

And at dusk, when we knew the possum was going to be okay, we walked him down to the woods and creek and Owen released him to the wild.

And then he amped up his requests for a hamster.
Any hamster. Please a hamster. Since we can't keep the possum, can he please have a hamster. He promises to clean the cage. He'll be good to the hamster. He won't drop the hamster.

I'm not a hamster fan, so instead we're begging Todd for one of these.

So far his answer is not right now, maybe in the future.

Which makes my animal loving son make this face.

And I'm worried Todd will divorce me if I "surprise" this family with another animal, so ummmmmmmmmm Grandma and/or Nana, can one of you be a dear and grab a guinea pig next time you come visit. Todd can't divorce you and Owen will love you FOREVER.

And he promises to clean the cage.....

I may need to get that promise in writing first though.

Call us when you're on your way. :)

Just Kidding Todd. Sort of. 

Where did everyone go?

These people have the ability to drive me batty. 

I mean really really bat shit crazy.

Absolutely insane in the membrane.

But when they're gone for a whole weekend?

And it's just me and the two dogs at home doing our thing -

Me? Studying.

The dogs? Pooping, peeing, and licking the bejeezus out of one another -

I miss them something fierce.

That being said, I would be lying if I said I'm not enjoying listening to MY music (not Frozen) and drinking my coffee in peace. And I even got to shower earlier with absolutely no interruptions. It was really bizarre not yelling the word "PRIVACY" while attempting to shave my legs and lather my muffin top. I actually yelled it at odd intervals anyway just in case. You just never know in this house. About a week ago, it was a neighbor boy who came in asking for a snack during my shower. I didn't even know he was over here........so I panicked and screamed "No snacks and get out of my bathroom!" He may never come back.......

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go memorize where the vestibulocochlear nerve is located. I mean geez, who doesn't know that one already?

Duh.

Beachin' It!

Somebody from our church offered us the use of their condo for spring break. I know, I know. We are blessed with crazy generous people in our lives!! 

And we said heck yeah and joined The Close Family for a few days at the beach. I even played hooky from school on Wednesday to go......ssssshhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell my mom. ;)

The kids had a blast and thanks to Owen's Therapist and the picture schedule she helped him make, he did really really well too.  He did not like having his stoma wrapped, but dude, I was like a freaking ninja against bacteria getting in there. We had bandages on top of bandages followed by torso wrapping. And he got used to it eventually...... And if it keeps us out of the hospital, he'll thank me one day. I think.

And is there anything better in life than beach time with good friends?

Especially friends who pretend they are horses?

 

 

These shots were hilarious. Fischer kids may need to work on their ups a little bit. But check out Ella (next to EG)...... Dang girl. Jump! EG looked prepared......not sure what happened there.

 

Six Kids? 

Yes - perfect. Let us do a pyramid. You'll be pleased to know that this was completely my idea and one I had to talk the children into....... 

Bless my heart. 

Wow. Owen has such a nice long torso.......

 

Success? I'm thinking, no.

 

These people stick with us through the thick and thin of life. They beat the crap out of us at cards and make us laugh and love our kids and pray for us and challenge us and make us laugh again and they're just as dang beautiful on the inside as the out. 

We are blessed to call them friends.

And that was Spring Break.

Back to the real world now.