Friday, January 8, 2010

The "B" word

I heard it for the first time yesterday.
Yesterday was the first time he has, on his own accord, asked about her. Wondered about her. Expressed missing her. Expressed loving her. Grieved for her. His birth mom. His first mom.

Before adopting, I always thought to hear my child say they love and miss another mom would break my heart. And it did, but not for the reasons I assumed it would. There was no jealousy, only sadness that he can't know her. Sadness that she can't show him how much she loved him.

There are so many deep-rooted insecurities in him. They are rightfully his, but I want to make them disappear. How do you prove to your 3 year old that they are worth so much? In an attempt to answer and console his fears, I kept repeating how special he is because he has had the love of two mom's.

I think it made him feel a little bit better.

Emma Grace was crushed.
Now she wants two moms.
I can't win.


  1. Life is so much like that roller coaster they talked about in the Steve Martin movie, "Parenthood".......I was feeling tearful and the depth of his concern as I climbed that first hill, felt a little better that he felt better, then squealing with delight on the downhill slope that EG was crushed because SHE wants 2 moms too. Go figure! Thanks for sharing the ride!

  2. We had the same thing happen. I had told Mihiret that it was very special that she had two moms who love her and my youngest son got jealous. Siblings....sigh :)