Guest Bloggers Have Hijacked The Blog :)

Rachel left for Charlotte tonight to visit her parents and congratulate her mom on an amazing teaching career (Congrats Panze!). You know what they say, "When the cats away, the mice will play." So at dinner Emma Grace, Isaac and I decided to write our conversations down for Rachel and everyone else to have a quick laugh. It was basically a elementary school comedy hour...

Isaac

Why did the chicken cross the chicken? To get to the other chicken's egg.

Emma Grace

Why did the blubbery raise his hand? Cause he wanted to get picked.

Isaac

Why did the popsicle raise it's hand? To ask if it could be eaten for snack.

Emma Grace

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

Todd

Oh, I've got one...Why did the popsicle get in a fight? To stick up for himself. (Isaac's reply: Daddy that doesn't make any sense!)

Isaac

Why did the shark cross the shark? To get to the other shark. 

Owen (If he was here he would say this for sure)

Why did Spiderman cross his web, to fly on his web.

Emma Grace

What's the most valuable fish in the sea? A goldfish.

Isaac

Why did the chicken go to the supermarket? To get some eggs to lay them. (Isaac's response: Get it? He went to the supermarket to get some eggs cause it wanted to lay the eggs)

Emma Grace

Why is it easy to weigh a fish? Because it has scales.

Todd

What does a cat say when he gets hurt? Me-Ow.

Emma Grace

What's the fruit that can't do anything? A cantaloupe.

Isaac

Why did the oven step on the popcorn? So it could not pop the popcorn.

Emma Grace

Why did the popcorn go in the microwave? So he could pop himself.

Isaac

Why did the banana say "I am a banana?" So the people could know it's name. (Maybe this video will help make Isaac's joke make more sense)

Isaac

Why did Emma Grace eat all the almonds? Because she is the queen of almonds.

Here's a pic of Emma Grace enjoying a few of Isaac's crazy jokes. Hope you enjoyed this little view into our dinner convo. We miss you Rachel! (We miss you so much we left the dishes for you... That's a joke too)

The Two V's in Parenting.

The following is an example of why mother's of young children need one or the other or both of the two V's. The Two V's obviously being Vicadin and Vodka.....neither of which I partake in.... Except on the rare occasion when I enjoy a nice Bloody Mary, but that is completely beside the point. Or not. You decide after reading this condensed version of a conversation recently between my oldest child and myself. And yes, I said this is the condensed version. And no, I wasn't lying. Sadly, this really is the condensed version.

A little background:

I had been away for the whole weekend on a girls weekend and had been back with the kids for approximately seven minutes when this conversation took place. I was driving by a neighborhood within about a mile of our neighborhood when EG pipes up from the backseat.

EG: Mom, Noah said they might buy a house in that neighborhood.

ME: I know. Isn't that exciting? They put in an offer yesterday.

EG: Well, how far is it from our house?

ME: I don't know exactly. Maybe a mile and a half or so.

EG: So, can I walk there?

ME: No. It's too far to walk and you have to cross a major road.

EG: I'll look both ways.

ME: Nope. You're not walking there.

EG: But I think I can walk a mile and a half.

ME: I think you can too, but you're not walking there by yourself at this age.

EG: Well, how old do I need to be before I can walk there?

ME: I don't know. Probably a teenager. Your father and I would have to discuss that one.

EG: Until I'm that old, will you walk with me?

ME: We'll see, Emma Grace. 

EG: Could we bike there?

ME: Maybe.

EG: When they move in, can we go over there?

ME: Yes. Of course.

EG: When? 

ME: I don't know yet.

EG: Well, what day do you think they'll move in?

ME: I have no idea, Emma Grace. They just put the offer in yesterday.

EG: Do you think it will be on a Wednesday?

ME: I honestly have no idea.

EG: Well, how often will I get to see Noah once he lives there?

ME: I have no idea.

EG: Can I see him every day?

ME: I doubt it.

EG: Every other day?

ME: I doubt it, Emma Grace. You guys do have school, ya know?

EG: Will we be going to the same school?

ME: No. Noah goes to a magnet school.

EG: So I won't ride the bus with him to school?

ME; Not unless you want to arrive at the wrong school.

EG: Oh. Well, can I eat dinner over there sometimes? After school?

ME: I'm sure you can.

EG: What days can I eat dinner over there?

ME: I don't know. I guess when you're invited and don't have other plans.

EG: Well, are they going to have a playroom?

ME: Yes, I think so.

EG: When can I go play in the playroom.

ME: I don't know, Emma Grace. They just put in an offer. They don't have the house yet.

EG: Do you think I can over there on Friday nights?

ME: I DON'T KNOW. Probably not every Friday.

EG: Do you think I can go over there on Saturdays?

ME: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS, EMMA GRACE, THEY JUST PUT IN AN OFFER! WE DO NOT EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE FOR SURE MOVING THERE. COULD YOU PLEASE QUIT BUGGING ME ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE GOING OVER THERE!!

EG: CRYING hysterically.

ME: WHY are you crying?!!

EG: Because, I don't know why you're so mad at me. I just wanted to know when I could see my friend. Is that bad?

ME: (trying desperately to calm down) No, Emma Grace. That's not bad. I just don't know when that will be.

EG: Well, do you know when they will know if they can move into that house?

ME: Emma Grace, I really really think we need to talk about something else. Or just sit quietly....

EG: Why?

ME: We just do. (Because I'm about to pull my hair out.....or yours.......)

And that is just one conversation I plucked out of a million other conversations just like it. Living with small kids is like living with the riddler.  I mean they're adorable and we love them and all that jazz, but dang those suckers can ask some questions.

I know, I know. 

She's so cute though.

Point well taken.

Okay fine. Maybe after their offer is hopefully accepted and they move into the house (preferably on a Wednesday) I'll walk or bike her over there for dinner on a Friday night or a Saturday after she gets out of her separate school so she can play in the playroom with her friend Noah who she wants to see at the very least, every other day.

The Cookie Monster

A very dear and amazing friend made Owen some cookies.

Not just any cookie. They are allergen free and delicious.

And in doing so, she has created a monster.

We don't care because he has waited 3 and 1/2 long years for this.

Look at this precious face as he experienced his first cookie ever:

 He loved it!!

He asks for more. All the time.

She shared the recipe.

Bring on the sweets, lil' man!

You deserve them. :)

(And Mama's happy because we now have a new bargaining tool during meals. Instead of our usual dog and pony distraction show performed nightly, the promise of a cookie if he eats all of his chicken is working quite well. THANK YOU CINDA WILLIAMS! Your generosity never ceases to amaze me.)

Mother's Day

After some tough conversations tonight, this was Isaac's prayer on this mother's day:

"Dear God,

I hope my birth mom knows that I love her. I wish I could give her a flower too.

Amen."

This is too much for a five year old.

This is too much for me.

He has one question that he asks about her repeatedly lately. One question. Just one piece of information that he's dying to know. A simple piece of information that every child should know about the mother who gave them life. And we can't answer it for him. And that hurts him and us. So we talk about trusting God and trusting that He knew even before Isaac was born that he was going to be in our family. And that fair or unfair, we're glad that was His plan because it means we get to love this amazing little boy every day of our lives. And that makes us selfish and grateful. And those emotions intertwine into something that can't be described easily.

But on this mother's day,

I'm so thankful for these three beautiful souls who make me a mom.

And I'm also so very thankful for another mother out there in the universe. One who made a decision I cannot fathom. One who I think of often. One whom we love and try to honor on this day and every day.

And I'm thankful for the mother who lives three hours away and whose voice I still love to hear. The one whose relationship has gone from mother and daughter to include a beautiful friendship full of laughter, gossip, parenting advice, and a good glass of wine. I'm thankful for years of handmade dresses with bows, and yummy food, and life lessons that I still carry with me.

And I'm thankful for the mother who raised the man I married. The one who gave him a zest for life and a love for others. The one who laid the foundation of a faith that he now shares with many others. The one who welcomed me and my many flaws into her family with open arms.

And the list could go on and on and on. There are so many friends and family who mother their own children and support me in the mothering of mine. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Because this mothering thing? It's a lot of things, but it sure as heck ain't easy. So Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! There's 23 minutes left of being honored by the world for the hardest job that exists. Enjoy it while it lasts! Tomorrow it's back to wiping poop and snot and doing all the million little things that go unnoticed and loving almost every little minute of it as the time flies by.

Sssshhhhhhh.....

We promised Owen a pony if he wouldn't tell the bigs what he got to do while they were in school today.

So far, so good.

If he does spill the beans, we'll just tell them we didn't have any fun without them. Those smiles are forced. We're masking our pain. We missed them terribly all day long. All. Day. Long.

All I want for Christmas.....

is my two front teeth.

That's Just Gastastic!

The kids and I stopped for gas yesterday afternoon and we noticed the gas station near our house has new fancy screens with new fancy buttons. No biggie.

I put my credit card in and paid for my gas.

Once I paid and the pump started, this is what happened:

If you can't tell because of the glare, the television came on.

It was set on NBC and thank the Lord, I got to watch commercials while I pumped my gas.  I mean, seriously,  I don't mind paying almost $4! per gallon if I can just watch a little bit of tv while I stand there. God forbid I use this time to talk to my kids or even have four minutes of quiet ......

Well done, America or BP or whoever sanctioned money being spent this way.

I'm so glad that while our schools are packing the kids in like sardines and cutting costs, and while other countries are going without food and water, we're spending our money on things like this. 

Seriously. Well done.

I can't wait to get back to that pump and see what else is on tv.