After some tough conversations tonight, this was Isaac's prayer on this mother's day:
I hope my birth mom knows that I love her. I wish I could give her a flower too.
This is too much for a five year old.
This is too much for me.
He has one question that he asks about her repeatedly lately. One question. Just one piece of information that he's dying to know. A simple piece of information that every child should know about the mother who gave them life. And we can't answer it for him. And that hurts him and us. So we talk about trusting God and trusting that He knew even before Isaac was born that he was going to be in our family. And that fair or unfair, we're glad that was His plan because it means we get to love this amazing little boy every day of our lives. And that makes us selfish and grateful. And those emotions intertwine into something that can't be described easily.
But on this mother's day,
I'm so thankful for these three beautiful souls who make me a mom.
And I'm also so very thankful for another mother out there in the universe. One who made a decision I cannot fathom. One who I think of often. One whom we love and try to honor on this day and every day.
And I'm thankful for the mother who lives three hours away and whose voice I still love to hear. The one whose relationship has gone from mother and daughter to include a beautiful friendship full of laughter, gossip, parenting advice, and a good glass of wine. I'm thankful for years of handmade dresses with bows, and yummy food, and life lessons that I still carry with me.
And I'm thankful for the mother who raised the man I married. The one who gave him a zest for life and a love for others. The one who laid the foundation of a faith that he now shares with many others. The one who welcomed me and my many flaws into her family with open arms.
And the list could go on and on and on. There are so many friends and family who mother their own children and support me in the mothering of mine. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Because this mothering thing? It's a lot of things, but it sure as heck ain't easy. So Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! There's 23 minutes left of being honored by the world for the hardest job that exists. Enjoy it while it lasts! Tomorrow it's back to wiping poop and snot and doing all the million little things that go unnoticed and loving almost every little minute of it as the time flies by.