My Isaac

Disclaimer:
Sometimes I find myself feeling self-conscious about my blog. I'm worried that sometimes it talks about our struggles too much. Or not enough. Or that it is boring (to everyone except grandparents who love the pics). Or that people will take what I say the wrong way. But then I remind myself of the reason I started it in the first place. And it is for them - the three awesome people God has blessed me with. I hope they will one day read it and enjoy the glimpse of their lives growing up and how their crazy mama handled it all. So this one is for Isaac. And if it feels like I'm talking too much about struggles lately, it's because sometimes life has seasons of struggle. And that's real life. But rest assured that God is carrying us through the rough days and giving us MUCH  joy in the midst of a tough season.


There have been some tough conversations in this house the past few weeks. We've read the books and talked to other parents and we knew that upon entering school Isaac may for the first time hear comments about our family that would confuse and upset him. (He says nobody has said anything to him at school or on the bus, but the timing seems a little too coincidental....) There have been struggles and hurts and insecurities rearing their ugly head. I wish I could erase his past and give him the one he so longs for, but I can't. And without his past he wouldn't be who he is today. And I love who he is today. I too wish he could have traveled a different road to our family, but sometimes the world doesn't work that way.

Regardless of how he came to be here,  he is in our family and to see him question his sense of belonging breaks my heart.

I understand that this is part of the adoption world. We knew it before we ever stepped foot on a plane headed half a world away. It could never change our minds about building our family this way. But when these issues come up; when we have to spend a lot of our time reassuring and hugging and loving until he feels secure again, it still breaks my heart.

So for my Isaac who I hope will one day read this blog:

You are mine.
 

Wholly and completely mine.

You came from a different body, it's true,

but since the moment I held you in my arms,

I've loved you.

You did not grow in me like your siblings did,

but rest assured, that does not make you any less mine.

You are my first boy.

You carry my father's name in yours.

You are the one I turn to when I need a hug and a good laugh.

Without you, our family would not be complete.

Please know that, sweet boy.

If I could ingrain it in your soul I would.

You are first and foremost God's.

But you are also mine.

Just as much as your siblings are mine. No more. No less.

You.

Are.

Mine.

And I could not be more in love.

Volvo for Sale?

Other than the fact that I don't own a volvo, I think I officially became a "soccer mom" today.

We started our morning bright and early at the fields for some soccer, self feeding, and coffee. (Okay technically the coffee was mine and Todd's.)

Isaac had a blast at his first practice and scrimmage. 

He listened intently to the coaches and when the time came, he went for it.

He didn't care who was there or what was going to happen, he kept his eye on the ball and even got a few kicks in. They may or may not have been in the right direction, but really, how important is that in soccer?

After his game we came home for some lunch and then headed back out to the fields for the diva's turn. She was a little bit more hesitant about going after the ball unless nobody else was around.

This next pic may explain some of that hesitance. They assured us there was no mix-up with team assignments and I told them that she had zero experience........but is it just me or does number 11 look like he's at least eleven years old?

Yup. That's one of her teammates. Let's just say this game was a bit more intense than Isaac's and even though she was a bit timid, she followed the rest of the football players 5 & 6 year olds(?!) and tried to keep up. Way to go diva.

And I know this picture is blurry and I hate to brag, but look at the stride on this girl. Can we say cross country?  I mean, only if she wants to. I would never push my kids into running just because I love it. Of course not. That would just be wrong.......right?

And what was sweet Owen doing during all this time?

Playing soccer, exploring, and making friends, of course.

And thus began our sojourn into the world of competitive sports.

Anybody see a volvo for sale?

On Marriage and Money

Sometimes life is just full of surprises.

And apparently it takes fifteen years of being a couple and eleven plus years of marriage before you can discuss money issues without it turning into a fight.

Good to know.

Here's a little clip from Dave Ramsey about money issues and marriage:

"On top of the fact that men and women are different, opposites attract. Chances are, if you're married, one of you is good at working numbers (the nerd) and the other one isn't good at working numbers (the free spirit). That isn't the real problem. The problem is when the nerd neglects the input of the free spirit or when the free spirit avoids participating in the financial dealings altogether."

I won't reveal which one of us is the "nerd" and which one is the "free spirit" and I would never be stupid enough to say that we've figured everything out and we'll never fight about money again, but I will say that we're working on a budget and saving tips to fund Owen support our family and it feels good to do it as a team.

Now we just need to find something else to fight about because sometimes life is just a little more exciting when you have a good old fashioned knock- down, drag-out spousal fight.

Maybe I'll go tell him I ran into the mailbox again with my car. :)

Rainy Day Laziness

Well, because of excessive rain and mud, instead of burning calories out on the soccer field today, my children are doing this:

And after the week we've had, I'm okay with some rainy day laziness.

I'm okay with Saturday morning cartoons and cups of coffee and staying in our pajamas until after lunch.

The two bigs had another great week at school. Todd and I were just talking last night about how pleasantly surprised we've been at Isaac's transition. After he told us ALL SUMMER LONG that he did not want to start kindergarten, we were a little anxious about his entry into the "real" world. (Okay I was anxious......Todd kept reassuring me that he was ready and he would be fine, but that's neither here nor there.)  And even though I may hate to admit it, Todd was right. Isaac is loving it. And not only is he loving it, he's also being very responsible about it. He worries about getting all his homework done correctly and making sure he has everything he needs each day. And yes, this shocks me to my very core because he is by far our most laid back kid.We're loving his excitement about school and praying it sticks.

The diva is still, well, the diva. She's always been very serious about her school work and following directions and that has not changed with her transition from kindergarten to first grade. She is so worried about following the rules in fact that we've had to assure her that her teachers don't want her neglecting her bodily needs because she's....let's say..... in the middle of playing freeze tag and her PE teacher told her to freeze.  (I'm sure she'll love that I shared this with you....) She has also made some new friends and seems more socially outgoing this year which is great.

And Owen? Well this picture pretty much sums up the week Owen's had:

Poor kid. 

He's had LOTS of appointments and evaluations and on top of all that, he got croup. So I guess you could say it's been a croupy week for him. Ha ha. Get it? Croupy.....

Okay, um, anyways. 

Let's just say some of his special needs have been further identified and we start Occupational Therapy on Wednesday and Developmental Therapy on Thursday. Please continue to pray for my sweet toddler as he adjusts to new therapists and challenges. In other news, he has clawed his way into the fifth percentile on the weight chart!! Woot woot. We're praying this slow and steady upward climb continues as we start trying to reach new goals of more chewables and of course,  the ultimate goal of self feeding. We've also been given permission to train someone else to feed him in case there was ever an emergency and Todd and I couldn't be there.....or if we wanted to go on a date or something. So who wants to learn? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? All it takes is patience and one or two trips out to UNC Hospital...... :)

And that was our week. Exciting, I know.

Hope everyone else is having a fabulous rainy Saturday.

Baby Addiction

Owen and I got our baby fix yesterday. I'm not sure he needed a baby fix, but I did. Babies to me are kind of like crack but in a much healthier, not nearly as deadly, kind of addictive way. I love the way they smell and cuddle and are just all around adorable. But I've discovered that they always seem to grow up and color on walls and talk back and pee all over the place and therefore, we've decided we don't need any more babies in this house. But I like to get my baby fix wherever and however possible. Just last week I stalked a woman in the grocery store with a newborn. I followed her down the aisle just so I could hopefully get a whiff of that newborn smell. Just kidding. Sort of. 

Anywho, we enjoyed hanging out with baby Jaden and some of us even enjoyed kissing and then stealing things from him. Apparently in Owen's mind, stealing is okay if you intersperse it with sweetness and kissing. Maybe bank robbers should implement this technique?

We searched and searched to find the baby toy caterpillar that was age appropriate. Apparently my almost three year old also found it age appropriate.

"Owen, you should give that back to the baby. Look, Mommy brought down these blocks for you to play with. Can you build a tower?"

There. See? That's better, right?

Apparently not.

Sorry Jaden.

Although it's not really my fault. I'm actually quite shocked your parents let me babysit after this incident. They must have been desperate.

J/K. I'm usually really nice to babies while I'm getting my fix. Promise.

See? His mom totally trusts me. I think.

After Jaden left and we did the mundane Monday grocery shopping and cleaning and cooking, etc, the kids came home and tackled homework.

Is it just me or are they too cute?

And that was our Monday.
Pretty exciting, huh.

60 degrees

Yup.

It's time for a more "fallish" blog background.

It's time for fire pits and s'mores and dry leaves and hot cocoa curled up under a blanket and all the deliciousness that fall brings.

I love me some fall. 

If I could bottle it up and savor it all year long, I would.

Enkutatash

We celebrated the Ethiopian New Year (on Saturday) a day early this year. 

It felt right to do it that way since Todd had to work all day Sunday and since this year was the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

It was a small, last minute celebration. 

We missed seeing our other Ethiopian friends.

We went to Abyssinia with some new friends for a traditional meal to ring in the new year. It was delicious. We enjoyed getting to know a new family; a family who is waiting for their son or daughter (or both) to come home soon.

I remember the hard days of waiting and questioning and longing.

And it is so amazing to be on the other side of that wait and tell people about the blessings.

The blessings of a son who brings laughter to our lives daily.

A son who has such a heart for others.

A son who gives out more hugs in one day than I can count.

A son who talks non-stop. Literally. Non. Stop.

A son who brings a new and amazing culture into our lives.

A son who has changed the landscape of our family for the better.

Happy Belated Enkutatash.